a different shade of pale

I almost lost my voice, my throat became scratchy and irritated, to-day after talking on the phone for 1,15 hours. Ah how unlike me! But I thoroughly enjoyed it. Somehow, and this is the beauty of it, I was able to incorporate: Cervantes, Homer, Lucretius, Nietzsche, Proust, Plato, Plutarch, Ptolemy, Sartre, and the Bible into the conversation. I was able to discuss the Bible, signaling the beauty I find in it, for I find beauty in that wonderful passage that says:

In the beginning was the Word
And the Word was with God
And the Word was God.

To some, this speaks of the Bible, it being the manifestation of God in this world, while to me it speaks of reality and the power of language to effect it!

“Man is an island.”

Ah how true! Man comes into this world alone, and parts it likewise. This is neither negative nor positive; it is life.

I am liberated.

I say, “How cynical of you!” but in jest for this word has lost its meaning in the last two weeks. I have read something, that I no longer recall, but it has caused a drastic transformation in my mental processes. I have taken a step in another direction.

“The heroic man, just like the mean man, i.e., the dastardly, the pusillanimous, has the same fate: death. This is neither positive nor negative, it is life.

I don’t know how it came to be that it became a known fact that I find life sad and bleek. I have forever felt contempt for Christianity and vituperated against its uglification of this world. Life is beautiful.

Because I pass no judgment on suicide, I am described as depressed and irrational. I simply see suicide as a part of life. Similarly, I support Choice when it comes to the reproductive aspect of a woman. When I voice my support for Choice, I do not insinuate that I support Abortion nor Adoption. I simply say: I support Choice. Now, it is another thing that some people choose to translate Choice as Abortion. I simply support Choice. Likewise when I say that suicide is a part of life, for countless of people carry this human act to its end on a daily basis, I am not saying “Hey I support suicide.” No, what I am saying is, “Suicide is a part of life as is the rotation of the sun around the earth (yes Ptolemy was right I’m afraid).”

I don’t think that I am morbid or bizarre in stating what I have stated above. I appreciate the courage someone has to end his life just as I appreciate the courage someone has to go on living. By this, I am not placing death over life. What I am doing is saying: suicide is a human act and nothing human surprises me.

I am liberated by this.

I neither fear death nor am I in a hurry to open my psyche to it. When it arrives, I shall accept it; have I a choice?

By all these staments I am not saying: life is futile. What’s the point of living if the good shall receive the same reward as the bad? No. What I am saying is Friendship is the most important thing in life, aside from Love and what is friendship but a degenerated image of Love? This is all I am saying. To friendship!