Month: January 2006

Hoy he hablado con mi Madre; ha sido interesante. Hemos hablado por un periodo algo prolongado, algo fuera del típico hola-qué-tal-adiós. Sé que mi Madre se preocupa demasiado. No soy el hijo típico. Siempre estuve ansioso por tener mi libertad y mi privacidad. He batallado por ésto a capa y espada. Y cuando lo conseguí…

It’s time to shed the demure and almost unpalatable moroseness. Eject the dejected. Such seriousness is asphyxiating. Perhaps this time upon entering the periphery, the boundary that artfully delineates the form of the ever-shrinking, ever-changing sea of oscillating blades of grass, I shall venture on. I shall remove my shoes and enter step by step…

From the gardens of Sardis I have surfaced; sweltering backdrifts tossing me to and fro, vascillating between emaciated hands. But I don’t mind the cadaverous spell the rays of light pressing against my face effect. I brush it all aside, gently marching forth into this new day. The celestial tessellation is collapsing, brittled and aged,…

If I juxtapose my current writing with my past writing, I notice change. Yes, I know more words but my writing style has also changed. But it is not as if I awoke one day to discover a new me. Change is never abrupt but gradual. Now, I find myself struggling to establish a transition…

When I was younger, I fell prostrate in the corner of my bedroom, and I cried. I still believed in something. And I asked why but received no response. God was dead. Perhaps the failure to respond was not a predicate of God’s inexistence, but rather I was at fault for asking such a question.…

Some say I have thrown it all away. I say I have temporarily chucked it. It’s all rather difficult to explain; I cannot explain it to myself. Perhaps it is fear that goads me, perhaps it is this restlessness that I feel within. I simply hope that age and time will placate it. I am…

It’s all rather self-explicatory. It’s good to be in love.

La guerra ha terminado y ahora siento regresar a casa. La decisión fue repentina; todo era confusión, agitación … yo en un estado febril. Mi enfermedad me consumía; las paredes se acercaban cada vez más. La vida está repleta de decisiones, qué si me levanto a tal hora, que si como esto o lo otro,…

How unexpected, or was it expected? Did everyone see this coming? I am dropping out of St. John’s after a week! Hah. I should not dread going to class, but I did. Enough. I don’t know what I am doing but I know St. John’s is not what I should be doing. This much I…

Contrary to popular belief, I had an emotional affair with a fellow Johnnie during the second half of my freshman year. It was all hush-hush, I no longer recall why I kept it so, after all, when Christopher visited me two or three days before winter break 2003, my homosexuality was instantiated. I was no…