en progrès…

I like going out and socialising … and ‘stuff’. It was 4 something in the AM and I was furiously writing something ‘controversial’. I was wrought by passion until the broadband died. Incredible! Sad but true, alas, what can one do? The passion subsided and I went to bed.

I had a strange dream … I don’t wish to recount it; it would say too much about the struggle within, a struggle that is tearing me apart subconciously. It’s funny how in my dreams, the actors in my life, as well as those that are exeunt, are devoid of their vestiment. I am left with personality, with the crudeness of their mannerisms. They become new people devoid of the qualities that I love in them and perhaps it’s just this, they don’t possess these qualities; I donned these superfluous and in the dearth of necessity which is sleep, my mind liberated from such restrictions renders these people as they truly are. A poet lies to himself and uses the language of words to create a new reality. The ugly becomes something else … not necessarily beautiful but something whimsical, something that he can nibble on fancifully. But these effete plasticines hurt my intellect, they offend it. Their vulgarity, their decadence frightens me. I can’t believe I loved you, I think.

So I am slowly changing the design. The default page is different, the rest of the site is still hideously orange. I am sorry. I need to gather my thoughts, my creativity and my energies. Until later.