everything changed

I don’t see myself publishing anything until next week. I guess this is called a … what’s that word? I don’t know. A breath of fresh air is what I badly need. For now, I leave you with this:

This loneliness that I feel
Doesn’t heal, doesn’t vanish
If I lie to you that everything is fine
That it can’t go worse
The truth is that I feed off my fears
I felt capable of playing your game
But I learnt that I lose myself in the attempt.

Late I found things about myself that make me suffer
And I fight with my Ego
And I don’t know to go on if you are not here with me
Everything changed
And now I can’t find the way back
Everything changed
How do I go back to you, how do I go back to me?
Where did I lose myself?
And everything changed.

I don’t want to turn my back to you
I don’t want to hear you but I know I shall fall in the deception
I’ll betray you
You’ll abandon me
I wouldn’t want them to take my place.
I felt capable of playing your game
But I learnt that I lose myself in the attempt
I wouldn’t want you to see my cry
But deep down I know I can’t anymore
And I don’t know to go on if you are not here with me
Everything changed and now I can’t find the way back
Everything changed
How do I go back to you, how do I go back to me?
Where did I lose myself?
Everything changed.

Within I am a coward
Without I am different
Within I am an instinct
Without you can count on me
Within it’s not the same
Without I don’t fail you
Within I keep it to myself
Without I don’t know if I go on
Within I am a coward
Without I am different
Within I am an instinct
Without you can count on me
Within it’s not the same
Without I am different
Within I am an instinct

Without not knowing if I’ll go on